Interesting thoughts and introspection. I am also contemplating the idea that if “x” were so important to me, I would be doing it. I am digging in my own journal on what are my real road blocks. Figuring out my true purpose…
Blake, hi. I am a long-term fan of yours. I truly do not understand your question, at least not in the dichotomy in which you express it. Life is long, no? I love that Hindu vision of the stages of man - student, soldier, family man, mystic. Life is hopefully long and I do think we have the time and space to be different things at different times. I lived a wild and adventurous life from my first solo travel at age 12 (e.g. age 17 alone in India staying in Gandhian ashrams for 3 months, and at 19 to 22, a total of 9 months in the Brazilian Amazon). I forewent my life of travel adventure at 30 and got married and had 3 children. I am now 52 and the solo adventure is starting up again! External adventure: got the taste back with a month work trip in Western Africa last June and now sitting in Greece after 2 weeks in Egypt, a month planned in Ethiopia, with Rwanda and 6 weeks in the Brazilian Amazon in the pipeline. Also delving into internal explorations too, with retreats and other forms of personal growth which all was also put on the backburner for 20 years. So I don't think it is either / or. And also, as a wife and mother - life did not stop either! I had lots of family adventure too - and experiencing your children's adventures is like reliving your own all over again! Also, there were times when I could take off alone - and in retrospect I might have done that more often! Obviously, you might have many reasons not to enter a long term relationship and have children - but please don't let the fear of not being able to be free be one of them!
PS to comment below: I really have had wonderful adventures with the children too.... I took my first newborn alone into a remote area of South Africa when he was 6 weeks old (OK that was a bit crazy in retrospect!). I travelled in South India alone with my third child when he was 8 month old for 3 weeks - our first born came on my husband and my honeymoon in the Pyrenees when he was 5 month old.... I took all 3 children to the Amazon communities I had stayed in 25 years previously. They were greeted like family, and took part in the shamanic (!) ceremonies with the rest of the village.... They since say this trip was a defining moment in their life. Thanks in no small part to your encouragement (through your books and blogs), they all 3 homeschooled on and off - and right now the youngest is homeschooling again aged 15. All this to say, I know that I would have had a very different life without these 3, but they have provided a different set of adventures, and in some ways the opportunity to expand my adventures by vicariously living theirs (as much as they want to share of course!).
Hi Tanya, and thank you for sharing these perspectives and encouragement. (And I'm so glad my writing played a part in your family's journey.) I've met a number of adventurous family's over the years, but they are few are far between, and they all seem to follow a similar economic model in which the dad has a high-paying, often all-consuming job. The few lucky ones—and they really do seem to be few, and lucky—earn enough to retire early or parlay some form of part-time/remote employment. But the vast majority of dads I see are working so hard to provide for their families that there is no time for anything more than brief adventures for a solid 10-20 years. I fear what such an extended period of time would do to my spirit, my health, and my ability to be a role model. This leads me to believe that playing the "crazy adventurous uncle" role in the lives of my friend's kids and the teens with whom I work might be the best path forward—or perhaps joining forces, at some point, with a mom with somewhat older kids.
Interesting thoughts and introspection. I am also contemplating the idea that if “x” were so important to me, I would be doing it. I am digging in my own journal on what are my real road blocks. Figuring out my true purpose…
Blake, hi. I am a long-term fan of yours. I truly do not understand your question, at least not in the dichotomy in which you express it. Life is long, no? I love that Hindu vision of the stages of man - student, soldier, family man, mystic. Life is hopefully long and I do think we have the time and space to be different things at different times. I lived a wild and adventurous life from my first solo travel at age 12 (e.g. age 17 alone in India staying in Gandhian ashrams for 3 months, and at 19 to 22, a total of 9 months in the Brazilian Amazon). I forewent my life of travel adventure at 30 and got married and had 3 children. I am now 52 and the solo adventure is starting up again! External adventure: got the taste back with a month work trip in Western Africa last June and now sitting in Greece after 2 weeks in Egypt, a month planned in Ethiopia, with Rwanda and 6 weeks in the Brazilian Amazon in the pipeline. Also delving into internal explorations too, with retreats and other forms of personal growth which all was also put on the backburner for 20 years. So I don't think it is either / or. And also, as a wife and mother - life did not stop either! I had lots of family adventure too - and experiencing your children's adventures is like reliving your own all over again! Also, there were times when I could take off alone - and in retrospect I might have done that more often! Obviously, you might have many reasons not to enter a long term relationship and have children - but please don't let the fear of not being able to be free be one of them!
PS to comment below: I really have had wonderful adventures with the children too.... I took my first newborn alone into a remote area of South Africa when he was 6 weeks old (OK that was a bit crazy in retrospect!). I travelled in South India alone with my third child when he was 8 month old for 3 weeks - our first born came on my husband and my honeymoon in the Pyrenees when he was 5 month old.... I took all 3 children to the Amazon communities I had stayed in 25 years previously. They were greeted like family, and took part in the shamanic (!) ceremonies with the rest of the village.... They since say this trip was a defining moment in their life. Thanks in no small part to your encouragement (through your books and blogs), they all 3 homeschooled on and off - and right now the youngest is homeschooling again aged 15. All this to say, I know that I would have had a very different life without these 3, but they have provided a different set of adventures, and in some ways the opportunity to expand my adventures by vicariously living theirs (as much as they want to share of course!).
Hi Tanya, and thank you for sharing these perspectives and encouragement. (And I'm so glad my writing played a part in your family's journey.) I've met a number of adventurous family's over the years, but they are few are far between, and they all seem to follow a similar economic model in which the dad has a high-paying, often all-consuming job. The few lucky ones—and they really do seem to be few, and lucky—earn enough to retire early or parlay some form of part-time/remote employment. But the vast majority of dads I see are working so hard to provide for their families that there is no time for anything more than brief adventures for a solid 10-20 years. I fear what such an extended period of time would do to my spirit, my health, and my ability to be a role model. This leads me to believe that playing the "crazy adventurous uncle" role in the lives of my friend's kids and the teens with whom I work might be the best path forward—or perhaps joining forces, at some point, with a mom with somewhat older kids.