Too bad you lost subs after your very personal and introspective posts…they are what keeps me reading in addition to hearing about your adventures. Vulnerable, interesting, and revealing. Your life is very different from mine, and I find it fascinating. Keep on keeping on.
1) "My biology allows me to defer the question of children." Be careful about your assumptions around this. I don't want to dump a pile of depressing links onto you, but just google "male fertility". In a nutshell, it's dropped drastically globally (something like 50% over the last 50 years), and it's compounded by age. There's no clear consensus on the causes, but there are probably many: industrialization, unavoidable hormone-disrupting chemicals in the environment, microplastics, other pollutants, mass-produced foods, etc. I spent a lot of my own prolonged adolescence trying to avoid making children, and then a difficult decade in my forties trying to have them. Lower quality of fertility doesn't just mean it's harder to have children, it can mean more chance of complications (miscarriage, stillbirths, genetic anomalies). In short, it might not be as much of a choice as you think it is, and more of a gift from the universe, one way or the other.
2) About the stages of life: how about an alternative progression: learning, exploring, building, sharing, nurturing, supporting, transcending (that last one is sort of like a version of the Hindu sannyasa adapted to Western life, where you focus on inner development/peace). Interpreting later stages as decline due to physical condition/energy is a choice of perspective. I'm on the cusp of 50, in the nurturing phase, and I wouldn't trade it for my 20s for anything in the world, even though I'm much less physically active and capable.
3) My experience of "midlife crisis", if it can be called that, was more about going through a transition where I had to reevaluate my priorities, my assumptions, the expectations I had placed upon myself, and accept a shift into another mode of life. Maybe call it a redefinition phase, with a dark night of the soul thrown in for good measure. For some of us, it's not until we're in our forties or fifties that that we can face some of the things that have been embedded in us since early childhood. It's terrifying to be so far along in life and to feel the vulnerability of having to tear everything down, face demons you didn't know you had, without knowing or having any guarantee about how you'll come out the other end. Sometimes the external stability of a home, roots, a family, etc. can provide a more secure environment to go through that process.
Love this one, love The Advenures of Blake.. you showing up fully is an inspiring invitation for me to consider what's possible in my own life. Thank you. :)
I have a YouTube channel and the last two videos I made that were more personal stories also have up and down subscriber growth. It comes with the territory I suppose, but weeds out the true fans from the fairweather ones.
Thank you for this reflection. This a topic I've been wrestling with myself lately so it was good to hear your perspective.
Too bad you lost subs after your very personal and introspective posts…they are what keeps me reading in addition to hearing about your adventures. Vulnerable, interesting, and revealing. Your life is very different from mine, and I find it fascinating. Keep on keeping on.
Hi Blake!
A few thoughts:
1) "My biology allows me to defer the question of children." Be careful about your assumptions around this. I don't want to dump a pile of depressing links onto you, but just google "male fertility". In a nutshell, it's dropped drastically globally (something like 50% over the last 50 years), and it's compounded by age. There's no clear consensus on the causes, but there are probably many: industrialization, unavoidable hormone-disrupting chemicals in the environment, microplastics, other pollutants, mass-produced foods, etc. I spent a lot of my own prolonged adolescence trying to avoid making children, and then a difficult decade in my forties trying to have them. Lower quality of fertility doesn't just mean it's harder to have children, it can mean more chance of complications (miscarriage, stillbirths, genetic anomalies). In short, it might not be as much of a choice as you think it is, and more of a gift from the universe, one way or the other.
2) About the stages of life: how about an alternative progression: learning, exploring, building, sharing, nurturing, supporting, transcending (that last one is sort of like a version of the Hindu sannyasa adapted to Western life, where you focus on inner development/peace). Interpreting later stages as decline due to physical condition/energy is a choice of perspective. I'm on the cusp of 50, in the nurturing phase, and I wouldn't trade it for my 20s for anything in the world, even though I'm much less physically active and capable.
3) My experience of "midlife crisis", if it can be called that, was more about going through a transition where I had to reevaluate my priorities, my assumptions, the expectations I had placed upon myself, and accept a shift into another mode of life. Maybe call it a redefinition phase, with a dark night of the soul thrown in for good measure. For some of us, it's not until we're in our forties or fifties that that we can face some of the things that have been embedded in us since early childhood. It's terrifying to be so far along in life and to feel the vulnerability of having to tear everything down, face demons you didn't know you had, without knowing or having any guarantee about how you'll come out the other end. Sometimes the external stability of a home, roots, a family, etc. can provide a more secure environment to go through that process.
Wonderful additions and perspectives. Thank you Patrick.
Love this one, love The Advenures of Blake.. you showing up fully is an inspiring invitation for me to consider what's possible in my own life. Thank you. :)
PS I have finally figured out how to comment in here! Thank you for the encouragement on that too.
Ha, I'm glad!
I have a YouTube channel and the last two videos I made that were more personal stories also have up and down subscriber growth. It comes with the territory I suppose, but weeds out the true fans from the fairweather ones.
Thank you for this reflection. This a topic I've been wrestling with myself lately so it was good to hear your perspective.