Thanks for sharing your learning about life and relationships so openly. I believe that kind of sharing is always beneficial. I think you summed it up when you stated "All human entanglements are messy." As you said, how we choose to approach that messiness is highly individual due to a lot of different factors. In this piece of writing your desire to be honest, open and in alignment with your values is clear, which shows real integrity. Having real integrity is an invaluable trait, one which I believe most, if not all, of your audience will appreciate. Full commit!
P.S. Please tell Pia her illustrations are marvelous!
"A diversified relationship portfolio does not make individual relationships disposable" that's a potent line! ❤️
Thank you for sharing a complicated and deeply personal part of yourself, Blake. I find it validating as a fellow wanderer of the world; navigating connection and romance, beginnings and endings, all of the desires of self and other inbetween... a messy and complicated challenge for any of us
Wooo! Curiosity abounds! Thank you for writing about this Blake! As someone who feels quite monogamous in romance and nonmonaganous in the rest of life, I’m fascinated by your process and you communicate it so well. Gotta admit I have some skepticism of the longevity of such arrangements, so I’m eager to get a window into your journey and have you prove me wrong.
The sort of thing you describe here is the core of my experience with non-monogamy. I didn't come to the relationship style from a logistical or cultural perspective, and I don't really hang with the "poly" crowd because all too often, in the name and spirit of doing things "right," they wind up being just another box to fit in. Rather, the whole messy relationship process is an outgrowth of core values that express differently in different domains. And I totally hear you on the rest - I had a hard time for a while with trying to be "home" in any one place. Now I have "home," but it's kindof all over the world. And it's also the place or places I return to. It can be all of it, but it takes attention and presence and care - I think the real "issue" with bespoke ways of relating to the world is that you can't just slip into someone else's model of how you're supposed to live. You have to be a active participant almost all the time.
Blake, I could ramble on in specifics of why, but I’m just going to say I really love this article. And I so admire how willing you are to embrace the vulnerability and authenticity of widely sharing your journeys in life and love, so honestly, intelligently, and articulately.
Excellent! This is great! I love the way you think and challenge yourself, but never judge or condemn yourself or others! This challenges me and supports me and encourages me. This is a well written piece. Way to go! As they say in improv "I've got your back." No matter what you choose, or what you do, or what you say, a true improv person will back you up. And I do!
As someone who is in a monogamous long-term marriage, I totally agree that everyone should feel it out and find what works for them. I'm a highly introverted, autistic, socially anxious woman who gets overstimulated easily; I find that long-term monogamy suits me. But even within that, my husband and I don't do all the "typical" things that married couples are supposed to do. For instance, we have never shared a bedroom. We don't even share a bathroom! We were also together 9 years before we decided to get married. We each need our own space and respect each other's privacy. We have our own hobbies and our own lives which we share with each other purely because we want to, not out of obligation.
Anyway, my point is that I love the idea that everyone should strive for situations that work for them as unique beings. Maybe that will be within the convention, maybe not. Maybe it will be unconventionally conventional, or conventionally unconventional. The key is total honesty with oneself and one's partner(s).
Hi Blake,
Thanks for sharing your learning about life and relationships so openly. I believe that kind of sharing is always beneficial. I think you summed it up when you stated "All human entanglements are messy." As you said, how we choose to approach that messiness is highly individual due to a lot of different factors. In this piece of writing your desire to be honest, open and in alignment with your values is clear, which shows real integrity. Having real integrity is an invaluable trait, one which I believe most, if not all, of your audience will appreciate. Full commit!
P.S. Please tell Pia her illustrations are marvelous!
Bravo for bravely speaking your truth! Non traditional is your brand, Blake; in work and school so of course love lol.
Richard Rohr reference? "as much as I can comfortably bear"
"A diversified relationship portfolio does not make individual relationships disposable" that's a potent line! ❤️
Thank you for sharing a complicated and deeply personal part of yourself, Blake. I find it validating as a fellow wanderer of the world; navigating connection and romance, beginnings and endings, all of the desires of self and other inbetween... a messy and complicated challenge for any of us
Wooo! Curiosity abounds! Thank you for writing about this Blake! As someone who feels quite monogamous in romance and nonmonaganous in the rest of life, I’m fascinated by your process and you communicate it so well. Gotta admit I have some skepticism of the longevity of such arrangements, so I’m eager to get a window into your journey and have you prove me wrong.
Second.
The sort of thing you describe here is the core of my experience with non-monogamy. I didn't come to the relationship style from a logistical or cultural perspective, and I don't really hang with the "poly" crowd because all too often, in the name and spirit of doing things "right," they wind up being just another box to fit in. Rather, the whole messy relationship process is an outgrowth of core values that express differently in different domains. And I totally hear you on the rest - I had a hard time for a while with trying to be "home" in any one place. Now I have "home," but it's kindof all over the world. And it's also the place or places I return to. It can be all of it, but it takes attention and presence and care - I think the real "issue" with bespoke ways of relating to the world is that you can't just slip into someone else's model of how you're supposed to live. You have to be a active participant almost all the time.
Blake, I could ramble on in specifics of why, but I’m just going to say I really love this article. And I so admire how willing you are to embrace the vulnerability and authenticity of widely sharing your journeys in life and love, so honestly, intelligently, and articulately.
❤️ Thank you Blake, I loved this
Excellent! This is great! I love the way you think and challenge yourself, but never judge or condemn yourself or others! This challenges me and supports me and encourages me. This is a well written piece. Way to go! As they say in improv "I've got your back." No matter what you choose, or what you do, or what you say, a true improv person will back you up. And I do!
As someone who is in a monogamous long-term marriage, I totally agree that everyone should feel it out and find what works for them. I'm a highly introverted, autistic, socially anxious woman who gets overstimulated easily; I find that long-term monogamy suits me. But even within that, my husband and I don't do all the "typical" things that married couples are supposed to do. For instance, we have never shared a bedroom. We don't even share a bathroom! We were also together 9 years before we decided to get married. We each need our own space and respect each other's privacy. We have our own hobbies and our own lives which we share with each other purely because we want to, not out of obligation.
Anyway, my point is that I love the idea that everyone should strive for situations that work for them as unique beings. Maybe that will be within the convention, maybe not. Maybe it will be unconventionally conventional, or conventionally unconventional. The key is total honesty with oneself and one's partner(s).
Well said, Amber—thank you for sharing!
full support!