My Morning Routine
a foolproof recipe for unshakeable well-being and peak productivity
Wake far too early, without an alarm. No thanks to discipline—only genetics.
Check the phone, despite my explicit knowledge that meditation or novel-reading or just lying there would serve me better.
Feel high or low depending on the volume and quality of digital communications received.
If low, rage at the insensitivity / untrustworthiness / shortcomings of those who disappoint me, and how this signals declining fortunes in life, for about 15 minutes.
If high, bask in the digital warmth of the amazing people who surround me, while marveling at my wisdom, success, and immense good fortune, for about 15 minutes.
Eat, read, or shower, slowly recalling that my unfulfilled needs are not anyone else’s problem, that I am a fantastic hypocrite at times, that I frequently build castles in the sky, that this too shall pass, that I am always free.
Drink coffee and begin to feel the glorious effects of this legalized and sanctified drug, this liquid hope.
Laptop time. Some days, crank out words or schemes or plans that make me proud. Other days, get lost in articles, or invite frequent distraction by message and email.
Move and sweat. Some bastard amalgamation of yoga, pilates, bodyweight workout, and physical therapy. Or a trail run. Or fail to move, and regret it later.
Begin thinking about lunch. After which: more work, movement, errands, or calls. If lucky, dinner with a friend. If extra lucky, dancing.
Remember that I’ve already won. Because I had my morning. Of which we only get so many.