Love this Blake - if you haven't already, you should pick up The Love Lives of the Artists; there's a profile of de Beauvoir and Sartre's relationship in there as well as a few other famous couples, I think you'd like it.
I love this! Constantly challenged and fascinated by the security <=> freedom interdependence in relationships. Your bit about feeling your freedom supported by a partner bringing you more desire to commit reminded me of this quote from the now hard-to-find Scientific Guide to Successful Relationships by Emily Nagoski. It’s a short, insightful, easy read and this comes from the bit on autonomy:
“Our need for autonomy is inherently paradoxical: we have a need to be granted independence from our relationship, and we need that independence to be granted by our partner. We depend on our partner to grant us independence.
If this doesn’t turn your brain inside out, you’re reading it wrong.
…
Do you see the connection between attachment and autonomy? You’re there for your partner when they need you; and you give them space to grow as an individual the rest of the time, and we delight in watching them grow.”
Blake - if you haven’t already looked into the Enneagram, take some time to do that someday. I’m a hard core 7 who values freedom and traditional relationships are a challenge to me because of that need. Understanding my core desires and fears has helped me understand myself better. I wish I’d known about the Enneagram earlier in my life - I’d probably be a wanderer/nomad if I had. Love your perspectives as always!
Clicked on it - I would have typed you as a 7w8 except that everyone says not to type others hahahaha - welcome to the fellow 7w8 club! One reason so much of what you write about and live resonates with me. I’ll read that full article in depth soon. I think the Enneagram is limited too but it does help to explain our need for freedom and a variation of attachment that the rest of the world expects. Can’t wait to read the description you mention!
Love this Blake - if you haven't already, you should pick up The Love Lives of the Artists; there's a profile of de Beauvoir and Sartre's relationship in there as well as a few other famous couples, I think you'd like it.
Nice read. Would be curious to hear about matchmakers. Maybe there’s a digital nomad matchmaker in this world
The other question is, what are the aggregation points for people who want to live a similar lifestyle
I will be sending people the link to this next time they ask me what "Relationship anarchy" means. Thank you! Well done and beautiful put, as always
I love this! Constantly challenged and fascinated by the security <=> freedom interdependence in relationships. Your bit about feeling your freedom supported by a partner bringing you more desire to commit reminded me of this quote from the now hard-to-find Scientific Guide to Successful Relationships by Emily Nagoski. It’s a short, insightful, easy read and this comes from the bit on autonomy:
“Our need for autonomy is inherently paradoxical: we have a need to be granted independence from our relationship, and we need that independence to be granted by our partner. We depend on our partner to grant us independence.
If this doesn’t turn your brain inside out, you’re reading it wrong.
…
Do you see the connection between attachment and autonomy? You’re there for your partner when they need you; and you give them space to grow as an individual the rest of the time, and we delight in watching them grow.”
Blake - if you haven’t already looked into the Enneagram, take some time to do that someday. I’m a hard core 7 who values freedom and traditional relationships are a challenge to me because of that need. Understanding my core desires and fears has helped me understand myself better. I wish I’d known about the Enneagram earlier in my life - I’d probably be a wanderer/nomad if I had. Love your perspectives as always!
Thanks Heather! Click the link on the word "sucker" early in the article ;)
Clicked on it - I would have typed you as a 7w8 except that everyone says not to type others hahahaha - welcome to the fellow 7w8 club! One reason so much of what you write about and live resonates with me. I’ll read that full article in depth soon. I think the Enneagram is limited too but it does help to explain our need for freedom and a variation of attachment that the rest of the world expects. Can’t wait to read the description you mention!